Dear Holier Than Thou Blogger,
I recently was on a blog sharing group in FaceBook sharing and asking for re-tweets of my recent blog post Don’t Drive Like A Douche: Part I when you refused to re-tweet my post on grounds that it was ” most certainly not family friendly.” There is much much more in the comment, but that was the basic gist. The words “disgusting” and “grotesque” were used if you get where this was going.
You did this publicly in the comments and did not think to possibly let me know your feelings privately. When I messaged you privately I asked if you had even read the piece. You responded with, “No I haven’t, but the title says it all. I will not read such a disgusting piece of garbage.”
I respect your not re-tweeting it. I respect your feelings and the audience you have on your blog, don’t get me wrong, I do. It was how you went about letting me know and then confirming your holier than thou attitude by admitting you didn’t even read it.
This goes into the don’t judge a book by its cover argument from me. First of all, I do admit “douche” is not exactly the nicest word you can use to call someone, but when I am writing a piece about the pet peeves of people driving, I am not exactly going to use kind touchy -feely words to describe non-stellar jerks on the road. That would not be my style nor would it make my point.
Secondly, read the piece. Before you pass judgement on something, maybe you would have found the piece a humorous rant to make people more aware of what they are doing on the road. Since we all occupy the road at any given time, it is probably the most family friendly piece out there.
This was written to maybe make someone, in a humorous way, see hazards we come across on the road that endanger all of our safety. I am not saying it was written to change the world, but quite possibly change one or two habits of one or two drivers. Be it the idiot who drives with their pet in their lap, or the person who cuts corners. Maybe even you. God forbid. You made it clear to me in your public comment that you are “perfect” so I am sure you have NEVER done any of these transgressions while driving.
So in saying that, I think it is the ultimate in “family friendly”. I want to protect my family, and in protecting my family, maybe, just maybe, I may be protecting yours as well.
You could always put a disclaimer in a quote of the tweet saying “I may not approve of the title, but the message is right on.” OR, “language warning”, even though the worst language was the word “douche” in the entire piece. I know other bloggers did.
Douche in fact is PG-13 and considering my family no longer consists of anyone below the age of 18 that is quite family friendly to me. This lends itself to the fact that we all have a different definition of ‘family friendly.’ Also, are your kids reading these blogs you re-tweet? They seem a little young. They need to be at least thirteen to have a Twitter account in the first place. Just sayin’.
Not all bloggers are baking cookies or counting the toes on baby feet. I have nothing against bloggers who do. I love them. They make me reminiscent of when my girls were young and I wasn’t worried about them driving eight hours away to live in Kentucky for the summer. They have an audience. They are really good at what they are doing and want to share this with their readers. That is the purpose of blogging, writing what you love. I love all my fellow bloggers in whatever niche they are in.
I am a bit salty, I know this. I lived forty-six of my forty-nine years in New Jersey, there is no way to escape the snark. I may pick a title or a subject that is a little rough around the edges or gets to the nitty gritty of truth. However, that is where it stops with me. I am NOT in a NSFW category. I don’t drop the f-bomb (although I won’t promise I won’t). I don’t use words that do not fit the tone of the piece I am writing. I am true to me.
Blogging for me is still new. I am not well established and have a small audience (but growing at a steady rate). My writing is not geared towards the kitchen and diaper rash crowd, although many have let me know they enjoy my taking them away from daily life, cooking and kids, and speaking about things that they find truth in or get a laugh out of. Call it a break from the seriousness of living now and then.
My blog is geared towards the issues we face with our kids as they enter adulthood, our lives as we find ourselves in an empty nest, as well as things that irritate the living hell out of me. Trust me, when your kids grow out of the tricycles and into driving cars you will be happy I was here. I write about pretty much anything that middle-age folk are living once we realize being polite all the time is not necessarily a great thing. I graduated from high school ages ago. My feelings are not easily hurt. My skin is a lot thicker than a particular major party nominee.
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I am upset that you didn’t even bother to read it. Maybe then you would have seen how it may have had more to do with families than you gave it a chance to. I am upset that your assumption as to how family friendly it was was decided by one word in the title. I am upset that your judgment was made a public insult before other fellow bloggers rather then in a message to me privately.
You could have read it, maybe commented on it, and then explained that in your thread comment politely. Therefore helping to support a fellow blogger (who did support your tweet even though the cookies looked like a gorilla’s balls) in some way that would have satisfied you being true to yourself as well. Your re-tweeting a tweet I had re-tweeted from someone else was really of no use to me. You took the time to ream me out for my post, yet did not take the time to find an original tweet of mine. There were other ways to support my blog, you chose to be arrogant. Not nice.
I may not win friends or influence people with this open letter to you. I do hope the point is made that we need to support one another and give honest friendly feedback. This would be preferred rather than judge an entire piece by a title or a slug snippet. Your public comment was uncalled for and deserved the courtesy of reading it before making up your very small mind.
I wear my big girl pants well and am not afraid of criticism. I just think there are forums for said critique. Your choice of where to condemn my blog post was ill chosen and inappropriate. You were trying to make a point to others in our profession (and yes, it is a profession) that my blog was not worthy of YOU. Since you are apparently perfect, other bloggers should think it is not worthy of them either.
You are young, maybe in time you will learn that forging opinions without having all of the information is a very poor way to judge others. Also, how we discuss matters with one another may not yet be on your level of maturity. Words matter. How and where they are said matters. So, I’m sure you will be happy to read the follow-up Don’t Drive Like A Douche: Part II .
Leave a comment this time on the post, at least I will know you read it.
I would like to know if any of my other blogging friends have had anything similar happen to them? Let me know in the comments please.