I have a number of pet peeves and I am sure over time I will share them all. Who am I kidding? That’s never going to happen. There are just too many. Over time, I have mellowed and am not as annoyed with some as I am with others. Either that or I am crotchety in my middle age and becoming more irritated with a few making me seem less irritated with the rest. I still don’t know.
I do know that since I was in my early twenties until now this particular pet peeve has gotten under my skin like no other. My children, my husband The Ass, and even my ex could probably testify in a court of law the level of irritation that comes with this one. I may need that help one day. Really.
This pet peeve reared its ugly head the other day as I went to a local coffee shop. It was later in the day and I was not seeking a large cup of coffee so I wouldn’t be up all hours of the night. I need my sleep and middle-aged insomnia is a reality. I didn’t look at the menu because the order was very simple. A small house blend. Simple, straightforward, to the point, at least that’s what I thought.
Then This Happened
When I approached the counter the charming barista asked how he could help and I gave him my simple four word order. What happened after that is what set my teeth on edge and made anger rise up in me like a volcano birthing an island in the Pacific. “We don’t have small. Medium or large?” Cue the screeching brakes.
Please tell me YOU see the mistake here. Please tell me you are in as much physical pain as I just upon hearing this. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. In my younger days I have been known to tear the poor person behind the counter a new one when I heard the sheer incorrect nature of this statement. I kept my mouth shut, this time, but was screaming in my minds inner peaceful spot. My day ruined. For anyone missing it, here it is. You cannot have ONLY medium and large. If you only have two sizes, then you have small and large.
The very nature of the word medium indicates a third choice. The definition of medium as an adjective is half-way between two sizes, or in the middle. I don’t know what planet you live on, but here on Earth, if I am in the middle there is at least one thing to the left and at least one thing to the right. Middle demands that it is part of a trio in the least, like Destiny’s Child or The Supremes. Medium cannot function as a solo or duet, the harmony is gone.
Is it too much to ask for a small? http://ctt.ec/Q6AL2+ #PetPeeves #Coffee #SizeMatters @reinventjulie
I have seen this error repeated many times in my life and while I have gained self-control in not ripping someone’s head off, it still infuriates me. I understand it is really a marketing ploy to make people think they are getting more for their money, but at least have the decency to not call it medium. My irritation doesn’t even have to do with the upsizing of American food or the obesity epidemic from super large portions. It simply has to do with the incorrect use of a very simple word, publicly, on menus, out loud. Please tell me I am not alone in this.
A Whole New World.
The internet has created a whole new outlet for me to take out my anger. I no longer have to make a poor unsuspecting worker wither with a discourse on the definition of the word medium. I can now go to the ‘Contact Us’ section of a business website or message a business on their Facebook page to let those in charge know my displeasure. Trust me, I have. It may not change, but educating others to the proper use of the word medium has become a mission.
So I ask you to now be aware of this and fight for the little drink, the diminutive, the small. Make sure small is properly recognized and given its proper place in the drink choices at any restaurant, coffee shop, and fast food joint in America. Put medium in its place as only a choice if there are at least three sizes available, back where language requires.